KUnit's Funny Moments
by yamiyugi23
Summary: Table 3. A one shot full of funny dabbles about the K-Unit including Alex/Cub. Wolf/Cub Alex pairing, swearing, weird sense of humor. As my Beta but, only read if you want to die of laughter. COMPLETED!


**Disclaimer: I don't own or have any rights to Alex Rider so don't sue me!**

**K-units funny moments**

**Table 3 just funny little drabbles all rolled into a one shot! Don't blame me for the swearing, yaoi and everything else in here! This is a warning!**

**Ring**

"Why won't you come off of me? I mean your stopping me from working!"

Hearing this made Fox stop in shock 'Shouldn't this be in the bedroom not the kitchen?'

Slowly Fox leant against the kitchen door, hoping that he had heard wrong.

"Now come along mini me, you want to come off."

Fox was sure that it was Eagle's voice and he sure hoped that what he thought what has happening wasn't happening.

"NO! You're not meant to get stuck on me!" Eagle's voice echoed throughout the house causing Snake and Wolf to appear.

"What the hell is that idiot doing in their?" Wolf asked with a glare at the door.

Their question was answered when Eagle opened the door and much to the other members of the K-unit Eagle still had all his clothes on.

"Guys I did it! I've got the ring off!" Eagle cried happily as he holed up a sort of ring from the sink pipes.

"B-but what about the 'mini-me comment?" asked a red face Fox.

A light bulb light up above Eagles head "Ah! I named the ring Eagle jr as I attempted to sweet talk it but it didn't work, what did you think I was on about? I had a cock ring stuck on me?"

Watching his team mates turn away, Eagle gave a big grin "You guys really thought I had a cock ring stuck on me?"

All Egale got was a slap around the head.

**Flirt**

"Come on Alex, you need a lover, flirt a little," Tom said as he motioned towards a female with long blond hair and a light pink dress.

"I don't know Tom," Alex said nervously "Any way something's not quiet right about that girl."

Tom looked more closely at the girl only to notice that she didn't have the right body shape.

"Come on mate," Tom said with a grin "Beggars can't be choosers."

"Yeah but still...what about my...job?" Alex said, not wanting to take any chances.

"Don't worry about it! Live for once!" Tom said with a big grin as he pushed Alex towards the girl.

Realizing that he wasn't going to get out of this Alex made himself presentable and turned to the girl.

"Excuse me miss but did anyone ever tell you how cute you look in that dress?"Alex asked nervously, he wasn't as good t flirting as Tom.

Alex waited as the girl turned around only to see Wolf.

"Cub," Wolf growled out, his checks going red.

"Wolf...nice dress, want to flirt some more?" Alex asked with a big grin.

**Wedding**

"Alex are you sure this is safe?" Tom asked nervously as Alex placed the finishing touches.

"Now I'm done," Alex said with a grin as he placed the tiara on top of Wolf's head.

"Let's get out of here," Tom said as they ran out of Wolf's bedroom, leaving Wolf in a paper cut out wedding dress and a little girl's plastic pink tiara.

**Hope**

With a sigh of hope, Fox walked out of their safe house and down the road to the local news agents. When he got back Fox hoped that Wolf had stopped chasing Eagle around the house for painting the telebuies on his pyjamas.

**Peace**

Fox had just gotten back from the news agents and switched on the TV, hopes for a moment of peace was brought to a stop when Fox saw Wolf being interview on the TV by a news reporter who was asking about his telebuies pyjamas.

With a shake of his head, Fox's thoughts had just been confirmed by Wolf's reply, he wasn't going to get any peace and quiet and yes, he was the only sane one out of the whole unit.

**Music**

Wolf sat down in his flat, glad to finally get some peace and quiet. He could of killed Eagle for that last prank but there was to many witness around. Wolf picked up his CD controller and switched on the CD player only to find that it wasn't Mozart that he had put in but some music by a group called Seether(Don't own but the group rules!).

Wolf's shouts for Eagle and threats to destroy Eagle's music collection could be heard for miles around.

**Butterfly**

"Ooooh, Butterfly," Eagle said with a goofy smile as he somehow managed to doge all enemy fire and make it unharmed to the other side of the battle field where the butterfly was resting.

"Next time," Wolf growled out "We do NOT give him sugar to calm him down before a battle."

The whole of the SAS was in agreement but yet Eagle had given them chance to win the battle as the enemy stood still in shock as they stared at Eagle crossing the field.

**Day dream**

"I hate you," Wolf said as he glared at Tom, Cub's friend from school.

"But you've got to admit that seeing all those half naked girls and boys was sweet," Tom said with a big grin as he remembered the girls.

Wolf growled "I won't share my sexuality even with the sad excuse you came up with."

"And what might that excuse be Wolf?"

They turned around only to come face to face with the Sergeant. Wolf glared and stood to attention as Tom answered:

"Just a day dream sir, just a day dream."

**Make over**

"EAGLE I WILL KILL YOU!"

Wolf's shouts could be heard all over the SAS camp.

The sergeant gave a sigh and turned to Eagle who was 'trying' to hide under his sofa.

"And what do you think you was doing?" he asked.

Eagle gave him a sheepish grin "Wolf seemed so down and to cheer him up I thought I'd give him a makeover!"

**Library**

"Damn it," Alex said as he banged his head on the library desk.

"What's wrong Al?" Tom asked as he came over to their spot in the library with some more books.

"I can't study anymore," Alex said with a groan "The dancing girls are to distracting."

"Dancing girls?" Tom asked with a raised eye brow "Nice wet dream to have in a library mate."

Alex glared at Tom, "I'm not dreaming, look."

Tom looked in the direction that Alex was looking at and much to his shock and pleasure found the girl's practicing their dancing for the graduation ball…with their very tight PE clothes on.

**Imagine**

Wolf sat on the chair that the therapist had located him and was now listening to the wineing of a man who kept going on about MI6 and the SAS and how the wasn't needed as world peace couldn't be found in war.

"Imagine, all you soldiers could be selling candy floss and other sugarey goodness and no wars, just imagine-"

The therapist didn't get any father as he found himself being punched in the face by Wolf.

**Pink silk**

"What the hell!"

Down stairs the rest of the K-unit sat in the living room with big grins on their faces.

"You just got to love pink silk," Wolf said with an evil grin and got the same evil grin from the rest of the unit

**White bikini**

"I feel so sorry for Wolf," Snake said as he made himself comfortable on the sun bed.

"I agree but he had it coming," Fox said as he took a drink "I mean what type of male comes to a water park with a white bikini?"

**Running**

"I hate running," Eagle muttered under his breath to his team mates.

Suddenly a group of girls passed by, all jogging and in _very_ tight outfits.

"I love running," Eagle said with a big smile.

**Funeral**

"It's your funeral," Fox said as he and Snake watched as Eagle bounced into Wolf's room.

A few minutes later shout and a body being thrown against the wall was heard.

Snake and Fox shared a look, shook their heads and said: "We told him that it would be his own funeral."

**First date**

Alex Rider could not believe this. How on earth had he allowed a sugar high Eagle to dress him for his first date with Wolf? He should have known better.

With a sigh, Alex to a last look at his wardrobe before meeting Wolf for their first date.

Eagle had 'kidnapped' all of his clothes and had left him a wolf cub costume.

**Orange peels**

"Eagle what are you doing?" Snake asked as he walked into the kitchen.

"Playing," Eagle said as he laid out orange peels along the floor and coated them in some strange liquid.

Snake sighed "I can see that but what if someone walked in here and hurt themselves on those orange peels?"

Not a second later Wolf walked in and crashed into a nearby wall.

Eagle grinned at Snake "That Snake is the point."

**A box of chocolates**

The snores of Eagle shook the whole house.

"Did you do it?" Fox asked as he poked Eagle with a pen.

"Yeah, a box of chocolates has been spiked with sleeping pills and given to Eagle as you can see," Snake said.

Wolf looked up from his spot with an evil grin "I do believe that pay back is a point."

**Half eaten apple**

Eagle walked into the living room to find Wolf, Snake and Fox on the floor, all glaring at a half eaten apple.

"What did that half eaten apple ever do to you?" Eagle asked.

Eagle got his answer when he spotted that each one of his team mates had a tooth missing.

**Competition**

"I can't believe that Wolf would lose to _him_," Snake said with a grin.

"I agree," Fox said "I mean the competition between them doesn't exist if we add in Wolf's SAS training."

Eagle bounced over to them "Hi guys, can you believe the competition between Wolf and that 89 year old guy? I mean poor Wolf getting beaten by an 89 year old!"

**Petty**

"I never thought of you as a petty man Wolf," Fox said as he shaked his head "To do this with a dog."

With a sigh Fox walked away leaving Wolf and a dog to fight over the last piece of meat.

**Dance**

"Cub are you sure this is a good idea?" Wolf asked as they walked into a dance hall.

"Don't worry love," Alex said as he pecked Wolf on the check "We'll have a great time, don't worry about making a fool of yourself while you dance, just enjoy yourself."

**Gossip**

"I never thought that you would gossip like a teenage girl Snake," Eagle said with a grin as they watched Wolf and Cub hide from yaoi fanfiction writers.

"Well, I just spread the word around is all," Snake said with a grin "It's not gossip anyway, it's the truth."

**Abs**

"Don't worry Tom," Alex said as he tried to be sympatric but the big grin on his face was messing it up "I'm sure one day you'll become a super spy, have abs like mine and have all the girls after you like James Bond. So what if the girls asked you if you're a fellow girl and if need some 'girlfriends' to hang out with."

**Period –yay! Your half way! ^^**

"Rider!" the shout could be heard all over the school.

Wolf ran after his lover only to find him hiding in a classroom, Wolf walked towards Alex and said:

"I am NOT on my period! I'm a male damn it!" Wolf said with a growl "And you know that _very_ well."

Alex just gave a cheeky grin and pointed behind Wolf, before Wolf could do anything Jake's voice was heard:

"And you'll find that you are having a period Wolf, no one touches Alex like that."

**Spaz**

"What's wrong with Fox?" Eagle asked as they watched Fox rant and rave as he walked up and down the living room.

"Fox's just having a spaz, mission gone wrong," Snake said with a shake of his head.

"Spaz out?" Eagle asked with a grin that soon turned into a lustful grin "Well we know how to calm Fox down, now let's do it."

**Calls**

Wolf climbed out of bed and walked down the hall toward the ringing phone, picking it up Wolf said:

"Eagle shut the hell up! These calls are getting ridicules! I know what's happening tomorrow so let me sleep before I send a sugar high, caffeine high Cub calls you!"

**Singing**

Snake and Fox walked into the mess hall, dodging their fellow SAS soldiers as they came running out as if a fire breathing monster was after them.

"Hey Bear, what's going on?" Fox asked as Bear ran by.

Bear paused and said "Wolf and Eagle are singing a duet in their!"

**Present**

"Happy Birthday Eagle!" everybody said as they finished singing the birthday song.

Presents were handed out and soon Eagle found himself with his last present.

Eagle looked at the present, it had butterfly wrapping paper on it "Won't you guys let me forget about that? I'm embarrassed enough as it is."

**Awkward waves**

"Awkward waves?" the whole of the K-unit asked their sergeant as he showed them a CD.

"Correct," the sergeant said "I've made my own yoga CD, it's called awkward waves."

**Voodoo Doll**

"Wolf....what are you doing with a voodoo doll that scarily looks _very_ similar to Eagle?" Fox asked as he came into Wolf's room to tell him dinner was ready.

Wolf ignored him and continued to stab his Eagle voodoo doll.

**Doodle**

"Alright! Who is the idiot who thought it would be smart to doodle on me with permanent marker?" the instructor asked with a glare.

The SAS soldiers looked at each other and as one said "Eagle."

"Ah," the instructor said "That would explain it."

**Conflict**

The conflict over the biscuits in K-units safe house was only stopped by the conflict that happened the following day by the mysterious disappearance of the sugar stash.

**Tears**

Fox walked in to the living room, home from a mission only to find Eagle on the floor in tears.

"Eagle," Fox said carefully "Are you alright?"

Eagle turned around and looked at Fox with tears in his eyes "Wolf ate all my sugar!"

**Clouds**

"Guys do you know what Eagles doing?" Snake asked as they watched Eagle run around the park's lake with a child's fishing net.

Fox sighed "His trying to capture clouds with the fishing net, says that he can't get a comfortable night's sleep."

**Love hearts**

"I hate you," Wolf and Cub said as Eagle had chosen their costumes for the Valentine's Day ball.

"But you two match!" Eagle said with a big grin as he placed the finishing touches on the two Love hearts costumes that Wolf and Cub was wearing.

**Condom**

"Eagle, get back here!" Wolf yelled as he chased Eagle around the house "Put that condom in the bin! It's used!"

Snake sighed, he had no idea how Eagle thought a condom full of sperm could be a ready to use water balloon.

**Candle**

Eagle grinned as he looked as he packed a packet of matches and a candle into his backpack, ready to gate crash Wolf's and Cub's romantic get away...well if you can call a camping trip in the middle of nowhere.

**Stars**

"Stars are bright tonight Alex said as he settled into his sleeping bag.

"Yeah," Wolf said as he joined his lover "Eagle is bright but not in the brain department."

In the background a fire covered Eagle ran about shouting "I'm one of the stars tonight! I'm a roman candle!"

**Tea**

"What are you cub? English?" Wolf said as he glared at the cup of tea.

Alex just gave Wolf a pointed look.

"Right," Wolf said with a small blush "Stupid question."

**Rainbow moods**

"What is he doing?" Alex asked as he placed him backpack down on the sofa.

"His got 'rainbow moods," Fox said, getting a confused look from Cub he explained "Eagles been watching 'Kid's Next door' on 'Cartoon network' and his favourite part is the 'rainbow moods' of the 'rainbow monkeys."

**Gate crash**

Snake and Fox walked out to the back garden only to find Eagle and Wolf taking turns to run through a closed gate.

"What the hell do you two think you're doing?" Snake asked.

The joint reply was "Practicing our gate crash skills."

**Thief**

It was just like a real mission, Eagle slowly walked a little bit more towards his prize, he was almost their when _it_ happened.

Lights where switched on and Eagle heard Wolf shout "Get away from the biscuit jar you thief!"

**Bribing**

"Bribing me won't work," Eagle said as he ignored Cub.

"But Eagle," Cub said as he brought out a bag full of sugar "If you take my bathroom cleaning duty I'll give you all of this sugar..."

"Done!" Eagle said as he pounced on the bag of sugar and started acting more like a purring cat then an eagle.

**Fly**

Wolf banged his head on the nearest wall as Eagle ran around the room shouting:

"I can fly! Weeweee, I can fly!"

The following crash that was heard and broken bones of Eagle's arm was proof enough for Eagle that he couldn't fly.

**Magic**

"Magic doesn't exist Eagle," Wolf said for what seemed like the hundredth time that day.

Eagle tilted his head to the side "But if magic isn't real then how does he do it?"

Wolf sighed "Who does it?"

Eagle held up a book "Why Harry Potter of course!"

**Xoxo**

"Eagle what are you doing?" Cub asked as he paused in putting the shopping away as he saw Eagle with a pile of paper that had nothing but 'xoxo' on it.

"I want to see which one wins," Eagle replied "Will xoxo win or will xoxo win?"

**Lost belonging**

"Eagle what do you think you're doing?" Fox asked as he took a peek into Eagle's room on the way to his room.

Eagle placed what looked to be a Snake's lost pen "Just sorting out the lost belonging collection I have, got the idea from watching an episode of Fragles rock!"

**Love**

"You sure?" Cub asked as the placed a big white bag with the words 'Eagle love's what's inside of me' written on it in permanent marker.

"I'm sure love," Wolf said with a smirk "Let's see how Eagle goes without his greatest love."

Cub shook his head "Taking Eagle's sugar, love, will mean you're going to have to deal with the redrawal symptoms."

**The end! ^^ Poor K-unit!**

**Hoped you liked it! Only one more table to complete and I'll have done all have of the 50 word challenge tables! Hoped you enjoyed this one shot! Its 3,000+ words long! O.O one of the longest things I've ever written!**


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